From a very young age, I often dreamed of designing and decorating my own home. Now that I am a wife and mother, my dream has come true.
Problem is, however, that it is not only my home. I share this home with others, most noteably, my husband.
Many times in the past, as we were about to move into a new home, I would find myself falling asleep dreaming about all of the decor changes I would make, or how I would paint, or how I would use a piece of furniture in a way that is a bit “out of the box,” so to speak.
Too often, however, I would forget to ask my husband what he wanted in all of the design, except for making sure that we had the budget to make the changes I wanted. But, since it was what I wanted and not what he wanted, when it came time to do the parts that required his help… well, let’s just say a lot of my projects were left unfinished.
Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s much easier to get my husband’s help if he likes what I’m doing, if he feels that I recognize that it’s his home, too. It is in honoring my husband that we were finally able to figure out our style.
In light of this, I thought a post on determining what your husband desires in the decor of your home would be essential to blessing my readers with the ability to create a home that adorns your husband’s vision.
Interviewing Your Husband
Any good interior designer will sit down with her client and have a lengthy discussion about what the client’s desires are for their space—be it the whole house, or an individual room. The purpose of this conversation is to make sure that the designer is equipped to make the dreams of the client—not the designer—come true. This would include such topics as budget, overall look, color scheme, style preference, likes/dislikes, lifestyle, traffic patterns in the home, and overall vision for the space.
Since your husband is the vision setter for your home, it would be appropriate to sit down and discuss these things with him.
Your questions might include:
- What is your vision for this space?
- What type of lifestyle do you want us to have?
- What are some of your favorite things you would like to see incorporated into this space?
- What colors would you enjoy living with on a day to day basis?
- What are some of your favorite types of artwork?
- What things can you not stand to see in your home?
- How would you like our family to use this space?
- What makes you feel “at home?”
- What type of budget can we realistically afford to make this space “ours?”
Looking through some decorating magazines might help with this discussion, especially if either you or your husband need ideas to get the conversation rolling. Have fun with this! Make it a date-night for the two of you, complete with a little dessert and soft music, maybe even a little candlelight!
Discuss openly what you both like, but be sure to really listen to your husband when he speaks. Bite your tongue if necessary… don’t cut him off mid-sentence to talk about your ideas, just listen out of love for that wonderful man the Lord placed in your life. Don’t cheat yourself out of the opportunity to get to know your husband on a whole new level! He might very well surprise you.
You can even take this time to begin cutting out some of the ideas and pictures from magazine articles and placing them into a three ring binder to keep all of your ideas together in one place. Sheet protectors and tab dividers are a wonderful help in keeping this organized.
It probably won’t surprise you to find that you both have many different preferences. Don’t worry about that, just pull out what speaks to either one or both of you. This is simply time to get a conversation going regarding what you both like.
Remember that you are two individuals with many different tastes. He may really like the rustic or minimalist design, and you may really enjoy shabby chic or the posh glamour hotel look. It’s likely that neither of you would like these looks all the time. The idea is to get the ideas flowing so that you have a place to start. Don’t worry if your ideas and your husband’s ideas don’t match up, just be open to each other’s ideas and start talking. Be sure to include laughter about how different your ideas are! And rejoice in the journey you about to take to discover how to combine the things each of you enjoy.
Two Great Tastes… Making Them Taste Great Together
It may take a while to figure out what you both can live with on a regular basis, and that is OK. The most warm and lovely homes I have been in took years to collect all of the things that give it a cohesive look. They took their time and discovered a look that suits the couple to a tee!
I know, I know, you where hoping to have this all done by the time the holidays rolled around so that you could show off your new look to the your holiday guests, right? Remember, our culture is steeped in the “me-first”, and “I have to have it right now” philosophies. You cannot have a home that truly reflects who you are as a family as quickly as you can go through a drive through window and order a burger! It takes time and patience…especially if your budget is limited. But don’t let that dissuade you from making tracks in the right direction. Study what will work for you both and for the needs of your family, and you are already working in the right direction.
And you don’t have to break the bank, and live in debt just to get a “look.” You don’t want a designer showroom, you want a home.
This is a home for both of you. I know we women can come up with all sorts of creative ways to decorate our homes, but we cannot decorate solely based on our likes/dislikes alone. Remember, this man is your best friend, your leader, your soul-mate. Make sure that however you design/decorate your home reflects the love you share that makes you a family.
Your husband will feel honored if you ask him these questions and he will more than likely have some input you didn’t think of. Some of these ideas may even give you a glimpse that you have never had before into the soul of that great man you married!
Take notes (literally write them down so you won’t forget what he said and you can refer to them when you begin to lose your vision).
Here is a lady who has kept her husband in mind as she decorated her home: Mrs. Catherine
Here is a picture of another wife adorning her husband:
Next time I will discuss the importance of decorating on a budget. Until then, I hope you have a blessed day and enjoy getting to know your husband on a new level through this interview process! You will both be blessed!